I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i just had sex bonerless
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
