So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize