Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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