Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
