I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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