He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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