literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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