he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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