I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
