4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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