Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
soo... how was my night?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
