I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
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