id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
