Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
