Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
