Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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