Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
