You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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