Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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