It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
