it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Randomize
