just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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