guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
