Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize