first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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