I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize