Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
