Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
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