Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Randomize
