Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
