i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
