hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
