somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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