don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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