hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
