There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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