I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I am available for nakedness
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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