the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
