Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Randomize
