Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Randomize
