You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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