At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
