i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I know her cup size but not her name....
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
