I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
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