I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
