i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
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