I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
