I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
