yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
