You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
