peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
