she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
He passed out mid-signature
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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