Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
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I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
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I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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