Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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