Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
apparently the secret to your success is patron
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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