need another drink. this is the easiest way
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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