I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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