her vagine was all disorganized.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
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