you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
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He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
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do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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