Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
