Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
