Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I have feelings that need drinking.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
