my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Randomize
