Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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