I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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