Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
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It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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