Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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