I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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