Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
