i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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